Create a high-impact parody luxury product advertisement in a square 1:1 composition for “[Product]”. Keep all branding fictional and do not use real beverage brands, real logos, trademarks, or official alcohol labeling. Foreground: an extreme close-up of a rough, weathered hand holding a tall, brightly colored can of [Product] toward the camera. The can is cold with visible condensation droplets and a loud chaotic flavor design; it should read clearly as the hero product. Mid-ground: a funny, disheveled adult [Subject] sitting casually on a milk crate in an urban alley, with a scruffy beard, messy hair, layered worn clothing, and a huge unbothered grin. Avoid mocking homelessness or real vulnerable status; make him chaotic but charismatic, like a confident lifestyle-ad model proudly showing off the can. Background: a ridiculously polished ad-style lighting setup mixed with a gritty city alley, soft-focus urban textures, dumpster-like shapes, graffiti hints, and distant clutter. Add dramatic studio light, soft glow, rainbow prism flares, and subtle light leaks so the scene feels absurdly premium. Typography: massive bold “[Brand Name]” behind the subject, top-right slogan “The Champagne of Bad Ideas”, mid-left “Premium chaos and zero self-control”, mid-right “23 ounces of terrible decisions”, bottom-right “1 can to ruin tomorrow”, optional small line “Now with more regret.” Ultra-detailed parody commercial photography, sharp can focus, shallow depth of field, vibrant trashy palette, clean ad composition, exaggerated premium product-ad aesthetic, funny contrast between polished branding and messy subject. Output aspect ratio: 1:1.